


A Burden

by Imagines_Dreams



Series: Melendaire Fix-It's [4]
Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Phone Call
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23473159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagines_Dreams/pseuds/Imagines_Dreams
Summary: Neil was usually the one who took care of people. He was a surgeon. That's what he did. But after the earthquake and after his confession to Claire, he suddenly had fears that started to haunt him in his sleep.
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Series: Melendaire Fix-It's [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685704
Comments: 16
Kudos: 73





	A Burden

He couldn’t even sleep well. 

It had been ten days since the earthquake, and Neil was bored. There was only so much you could do when you were stuck in a hospital bed. He had finished Pride and Prejudice sooner than he had expected, so he didn’t ask anyone to lend him another book. Since he had been alone with his thought for at least two hours, he was seriously thinking of Dr. Reznick’s suggestion. At least a self-help book would be more entertaining than the wall. 

He wished he could work. Use his hands and challenge his skills instead of just turning pages and scrolling through his phone. 

The other attending doctors, including Dr. Chapman, did come to him to discuss some of the cases, but none of them wanted to burden him with work so much, so it rarely happened. His sister visited three times after he woke up, too. If he was able to, he would visit her more. Claire visited as much as she could, considering the rumors. 

He missed her.

Of course, he wouldn’t admit that, not unless prompted to. But, it was true. At least when he was working, he got to work with her. Bounce ideas off each other, talk about patients, schedule platonic outings. Even if he couldn’t be with Claire, he wished he could go to the gym, work off all his restless energy. 

Maybe puzzles would help. He hadn’t done a crossword or sudoku in a while. 

~ - ~

He couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe!? Something was pulling on his chest and pulling inwards. It felt like a straitjacket that just got tighter and tighter and tighter. He couldn’t breathe. He had to breathe!

Neil desperately clawed at whatever was restraining him, but it didn’t help. His chest was being pressed, flattened, and he could feel his fingers growing numb from the lack of oxygen. If this continued, he would start hallucinating due to the lack of oxygen in his brain. Hypoxia only gets more dangerous the longer it persists. The less time, the fewer side effects, and he couldn’t have more burdens with him to carry, not when he already couldn’t walk because of that beam and the sepsis-

Claire. 

He couldn’t put this on Claire. She had been through so much. He had already asked her on a date. He already felt guilty being her superior and staying in a bed for months and not being able to walk. What more with hallucinations, memory loss, lack of impulse control, and who knows what else? Symptoms of hypoxia were damaging, long-lasting. Neil couldn’t live with himself if he did that to her. 

His lungs expanded, the pressure lessened, and all at once, air flooded into his lungs, and Neil woke up in his hospital bed, out of breath. 

He gulped down air and scrambled to find his phone. Not on blankets. Not under them. Not on the table nearby. What about the other one? No, not there. Where was his phone? 

He finally felt it under the blanket. Before he knew it, the phone was ringing, and Claire was on the other side. “You’ve reached Dr. Browne from St. Andrew’s-”

Neil sighed, relieved to hear her voice. “Hi.” His throat was dry, and he could hear the simple one-syllable greeting crack. And she sounded tired. Did he wake her up? He checked the time. It was well past 2 AM.

“Neil?” There were sounds of scuffling on her end. “Neil, is everything ok?”

“Yeah,” he answered. Embarrassed, he stared at his hands. No numbness. His airway didn’t feel obstructed. It was a nightmare. He covered his eyes with one hand and held back a groan. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called.”

“No, it’s alright.” Her voice was so soft and understanding. She didn’t sound a bit tired, even though she should have been. He had woken her up just because of a silly nightmare. How stupid. Neil was scared of being a burden, and he interrupted her sleep just because he felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

“What happened?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong.”

“Oh, ok.” She was definitely unconvinced. “I could distract you if you want. I just watched the worst reality tv show ever.”

He laughed a little. 

“Or what about the book. How do you like Mr. Darcy?”

“I think he’s a great character.” He glanced at his notepad. “I have quotes.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yeah, I do.”

Both of them laughed until settling into a comfortable yet tense silence. Tense because both of them knew Neil wanted to say something, and comfortable because Claire wanted to listen and Neil had to tell someone. 

His voice softened. “I had a nightmare.”

“Oh, are you ok?”

“I’ve been better.” He closed his eyes. “Claire,” he didn’t want to ask, but he had to know, “are you sure you want to do this?” Neil held his breath. It was better to get it over with. 

“Yes.” Her voice was light and happy. It made Neil smile, because how could her voice be so beautiful over the phone. 

“Neil, are you asking because you-”

“No!” He cleared his throat. “No, it’s not that.” How could she ever think that? “Not at all.” He leaned back into his bed and covered his eyes with his arm. He inhaled deeply. “My nightmare, I was choking, and I was worried about the lasting side effects of hypoxia.”

“Of course, you were. That’s reasonable. Especially considering what you’ve been through.”

Neil gulped. If he told her what made him so upset, he would be even more vulnerable than he had ever been to her. Taking care of people was his thing. He was a surgeon because he wanted to take care of people. He wasn’t used to being taken care of. When a patient died on the table, yes, he had someone to hold and comfort him, but he had only one near-death experience. How could he push that onto her?

He gulped. “I was scared, but for more reasons than just dying or chronic symptoms.” Neil licked his lips and admitted, “I was scared because if that happened, I didn’t want to burden you any more.”

Claire made some sort of sound, something like a light gasp, and he couldn’t tell if that was good or bad. 

“Sorry,” he quickly said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Neil.”

He held his breath. “Yes?”

“It’s ok.” She laughed. “Even if you had chronic symptoms from anything, I’d still go on that date. I choose who I go on dates with, and I choose you and all your burdens.”

“Why?” It was a genuine question. “I’m your attending. I’m going to be in the hospital for months. A proper date won’t be until after. You’re risking a lot.” He sighed. “I don’t want you to regret it.”

“Hm. Tell me, did you regret meetings outside of work?’

“No.”

“What about being there for me when I broke down in the stairwell?”

He took a deep breath. “No.”

“And why did you do that?”

“Because I care about you.”

“Exactly.” She smiled. “Neil, I care about you. That’s why I’m going to be there for you. Nightmares, symptoms, a date. Whatever you need.”

How was he this lucky? Claire Browne was too kind. She was a brilliant surgeon, smart and more than capable. She cared about everyone, from the patients to their family members to the nurses. On top of that, she was beautifully optimistic and challenged him in a way no one else had. To be her attending, it was an honor. To be someone she loved… 

It was indescribable.

“Thank you, Claire,” he said. “Really, this helped.”

“Anytime. Can I do anything else?”

“No.” His chest felt lighter. He could breathe. And Dr. Claire Browne cared about him. “I’m going to be ok.”

“Good. Well, good night, Neil.”

“Good night, Claire.”

Neil put his phone away, a smile on his face, and for the first time in a while, he slept comfortably on the uncomfortable hospital bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Another quick one! Thankfully, this week wasn't too rough college-wise, cuz man i haven't written this much since early high school. Anyway, please tell me what you think. I love hearing from you guys!


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